love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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