When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize