My first STD was from a foam party
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
high people should be assigned attendants
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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