We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
