too bad you live with your parents still
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
