Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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