dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So much rum. So many feels.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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