It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
