she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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