In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
