I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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