Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize