TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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