thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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