A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
