Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
