a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize