So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
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God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
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I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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