I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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