I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down