my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?