$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"