I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.