this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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