how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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