i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
