That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have aggressive nipples.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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