we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
