Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
