i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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