Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
