She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...