he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't think brook has ever known best
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
