what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
