The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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