shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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