When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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