did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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