Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
