as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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