I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
