i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
