haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
