Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
