i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize