Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
