Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
