Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple. http://tfl.nu/a9o6
  Replies (7) Good night (1961) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.

  (951): View more from California

  sound pretty economical

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood. (951): sound pretty economical http://tfl.nu/xtyc
  Replies (11) Good night (3174) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser. http://tfl.nu/vxnr
  Replies (27) Good night (4217) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night http://tfl.nu/u1r5
  Replies (29) Good night (1977) Bad night (7330)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal? http://tfl.nu/v8vs
  Replies (8) Good night (3700) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit. http://tfl.nu/8ktk
  Replies (18) Good night (3275) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms? http://tfl.nu/dduo
  Replies (4) Good night (2840) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka. http://tfl.nu/6iko
  Replies (1) Good night (1584) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes' http://tfl.nu/oh7r
  Replies (23) Good night (912) Bad night (3694)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/g0ca
  Replies (6) Good night (1571) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends http://tfl.nu/3qzm
  Replies (49) Good night (993) Bad night (3602)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success! http://tfl.nu/u8oi
  Replies (4) Good night (1453) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week http://tfl.nu/qjgk
  Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment. http://tfl.nu/bhdk
  Replies (3) Good night (317) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk. http://tfl.nu/mqdu
  Replies (1) Good night (517) Bad night (186)

Randomize