You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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