Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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