i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
