I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize