Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
