He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize