he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
