I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
