i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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