Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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